yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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