he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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