The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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