also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
