you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
