? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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