so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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