so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
