Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
