I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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