Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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