awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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