just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
