Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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