well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
