we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
