so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
