When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
