quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think i have herpe
just one?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize