My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
