Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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