I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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