Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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