Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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