wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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