so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
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