Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.

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(619): View more from California

Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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(432): View more from Texas

So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you

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(970): View more from Colorado

He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...

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(817): View more from Texas

And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword

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(714): View more from California

I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots

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