Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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