I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
youre lurking in front of me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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