Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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