Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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