When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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