You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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