Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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