I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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