Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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