It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
