i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
