I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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