I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
