At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
