I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
