I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
