He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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