But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
