capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize