How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we have officially lost it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
