I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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