Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
