After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
