Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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