He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
