Fine. I'll sleep in my office
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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