I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Bring me that man meat
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
