he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
