before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize