im having a threesome with these popsicles
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
