he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is the high leading the old right now
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
